Psychological manipulation 101 - The political and corporate elite's bible

Psychological manipulation 101
The political and corporate elite's bible

Influencing Others to Follow Your Way of Thinking

Simply put, it’s difficult to be an effective leader or salesperson without knowing how to win people over. Part of influencing others and encouraging them to follow you is helping them understand your way of thinking and respect it. Having others understand your perspective can be much more effective when done properly, rather than simply saying “It’s my way or the highway” or “Because I’m the boss.” Here are four ways to get them hooked on your ideas, policies and/or outlook:

Begin in a friendly way

Ever hear the expression ‘You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?’ Well, you win more people over to your way of thinking that way, too. Start in a friendly, “teaming” way, and you’ll be received in a more friendly way than if you try to demand people do as you say. Start by learning the names of your clients or team members, and really listening when you speak with them to build a solid rapport. Win them over by showing that you’re interested in what matters to them—and they’ll naturally do the same for you.

Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers
Instead of just laying down the law and having people take notes of your master plan, influence others by asking leading questions that guide your staff to suggest the very ideas or concepts that you’re introducing. Then praise them for coming up with that solution. In other words, set your staff up to want to “own” what you’re introducing.

Step into their shoes
To speak in terms of another’s interests, seeing things from their perspective is imperative. Part of that is listening, but you also must honestly try to understand what motivates people and where they are coming from. People will see through insincere remarks. However, if you can really show them that you are going to the courtesy of understanding their perspective, they will likely do the same for you. And that is how successful relationships are built.

Become genuinely interested in other people
Let people know they are important to you by asking about their family, trips or hobbies—and remember the details and follow up when appropriate. You don’t have to be your employees’ or clients’ best friend, but learning about what motivates people (whether it be supporting a family, traveling, or a favorite hobby) will help you speak in terms of their interests. For instance, a new parent who is struggling to find a life-work balance may appreciate new systems that will help them leave the office on time (and work hard to get them up and running). Learning about the people you work with can help you to create incentives for employees to work hard on the job.

Many people listen selectively, but your goal should be to listen attentively. To do this, you should ask questions, which not only shows that you’re listening, but helps you understand what is being explained to you. Show in your body language that you’re interested in what is being said, which will incentivize employees to work hard for you; if you’re seated across from the person, lean in slightly. Finally, paraphrase what the person is saying. You’ll be sure to digest what they’re saying and remember it later.

Whether you’re speaking with a client or a co-worker, talking in terms of another person’s interests starts by letting them contribute more words to the conversation. This goes hand in hand with listening and being genuinely interested in other people. Ask what motivates people, and why. Then, listen and reply with an offer that makes sense based on what they told you.