和孩子多说话有好处，说什么话？怎么说？
纽约时报有个文章说和孩子多说话有好处，说什么话？怎么说？
有网友给出了简单的办法，就是描述一下孩子在做什么，
都是一些琐碎的事情就能让孩子和你迅速的建立互动关系而且让孩子有被关心的感觉。
我在超市里带6个孩子，经常遇到白人老太太跟我的孩子说，
你拿着一个相机，紫色的，
你拿着一个angry bird，
你也拿着一个相机，
你拿着一个手机，
等等，
就这么几句话，简单描述我的孩子在玩什么，
就让我的孩子对这个原本陌生的白人老太太迅速产生好感，安全感，
不再害怕眼前这个陌生人，
我的孩子一窝蜂涌上去，争先恐后和白人老太太说话，
我小儿子说，我叫比尔，我拿着angry bird，
我女儿也咿咿呀呀，虽然说不清，有中文，有英语，但还是很乐意跟老太太表达。
而年轻的女人或者中年的女人，都不会这么做，
这么样和我孩子玩的，多数是白人老太太，也有些白人老头也会哄我的孩子玩。
其实，我做父母的，应该学习学习白人老太太这点本领。
很多年轻父母，不知道怎么跟孩子说话，也不知道跟孩子说什么？
其实，最简单的办法就是跟孩子描述孩子在做什么，比如，你的衣服是黄色的，
你手里拿着海盗船，这个船是妈妈给你买的，
就是这些琐碎的事情，跟孩子描述一下，就能让孩子感觉到她在被关心，被关注，
有利于建立孩子与父母的感情关系，同时也有利于孩子的智力发展。
和孩子说英语还是中文，我的观点是中文，
因为中文是我们的第一语言，孩子在熟练的掌握了中文以后，
到学校再学英语会很容易掌握。
设想，如果孩子连中文也不会说，英语也说不好，
就等于在语言方面缺乏发展。这样肯定是不行的。
因为中文是我们的第一语言，孩子在熟练的掌握了中文以后，
到学校再学英语会很容易掌握。
设想，如果孩子连中文也不会说，英语也说不好，
就等于在语言方面缺乏发展。这样肯定是不行的。
Just a practical suggestion. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I went to a workshop which was based on some childrearing theory or other, which I've forgotten. But I had an unexpectedly profound experience: someone spent five minutes or so simply describing to me what I was doing (e.g. you are sitting on your chair. Now you are standing up and smiling....). I felt an extraordinary sense of wellbeing, of being solid and grounded and alive, despite the complete triviality of the description.
Twenty years later, my daughter is a smart, sensitive, highly articulate person with a very big heart. I credit that workshop for giving me a very simple way to notice her and give her lots of words which were intimately related to what she was experiencing. For the record, I was also a single parent with a demanding and exhausting full-time job.
I'm now helping my partner to care for his two year old grandchild, and I'm finding that simply describing to her what she is doing (and, of course, responding to what she is saying!) has very quickly created a strong bond with her. Occasionally I feel a little silly describing enthusiastically the way she is turning the light switch on and off, but then I find myself noticing how extraordinary light switches really are, and how incredible the world is to her.
So, roll out the words!
Twenty years later, my daughter is a smart, sensitive, highly articulate person with a very big heart. I credit that workshop for giving me a very simple way to notice her and give her lots of words which were intimately related to what she was experiencing. For the record, I was also a single parent with a demanding and exhausting full-time job.
I'm now helping my partner to care for his two year old grandchild, and I'm finding that simply describing to her what she is doing (and, of course, responding to what she is saying!) has very quickly created a strong bond with her. Occasionally I feel a little silly describing enthusiastically the way she is turning the light switch on and off, but then I find myself noticing how extraordinary light switches really are, and how incredible the world is to her.
So, roll out the words!
Research like this is valuable but I can't help feeling that the most important point is being lost in the drive for measurable data. It's not the number of words or even the richness of the vocabulary that matters, though I'm sure they figure somewhere. It's 1) engaging the child and 2) what's being said.
The reason educated people talk to their children is because they believe their job is to prepare children for adulthood. They give reasons for things. They encourage participation. They say things like, We have to wait here in line and then we pay the lady for our food. They say, Do you want to help put the apples in the bag? They do this because they recognize that being included is good for kids, makes them smart and engaged -- and also because they can, because they, the parents, have on the whole less stress in their lives than the very poor. Extreme stress and trauma leave very little left over for talking to little kids -- which is, let's be honest, a lot of work. The attitude that the poor take toward childhood is protective: let children be children because the harsh world will encroach on them soon enough. They do not see their own job as one of explaining and preparing. Although I believe this is something all people can learn.
It's the act of talking that matters. Not the number of words.
You don't say, but most likely your parents spoke Chinese to you most of the time. That's what matters most, that children hear rich language. It's more important to talk with a child in your first language, with all its nuance and varied vocabulary. Second language acquisition comes more easily if a child has a rich first language experience. That's my experience as an ESL teacher.
The reason educated people talk to their children is because they believe their job is to prepare children for adulthood. They give reasons for things. They encourage participation. They say things like, We have to wait here in line and then we pay the lady for our food. They say, Do you want to help put the apples in the bag? They do this because they recognize that being included is good for kids, makes them smart and engaged -- and also because they can, because they, the parents, have on the whole less stress in their lives than the very poor. Extreme stress and trauma leave very little left over for talking to little kids -- which is, let's be honest, a lot of work. The attitude that the poor take toward childhood is protective: let children be children because the harsh world will encroach on them soon enough. They do not see their own job as one of explaining and preparing. Although I believe this is something all people can learn.
It's the act of talking that matters. Not the number of words.
You don't say, but most likely your parents spoke Chinese to you most of the time. That's what matters most, that children hear rich language. It's more important to talk with a child in your first language, with all its nuance and varied vocabulary. Second language acquisition comes more easily if a child has a rich first language experience. That's my experience as an ESL teacher.
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